Help for Parents of Teenagers

Being a parent is a job that we all go into not knowing if we are going to be any good at it. First of all the crying baby stage, not easy, especially when you are exhausted. Teething stage is really hard as you just want to take their pain away. Then they start school, you are pleased they are growing up but also sad to see the years slip away. And then they hit puberty…

All of a sudden your precious little person has become a creature that you don’t recognise. Sometimes they are snappy, rude, moody and “just want to be left alone” and then the next moment they are asking for a lift to a party or some money to go out with friends. As parents we can feel overwhelmed by this and not enjoy this time. Our relationships with our teenagers can become really strained and it can have an affect on the whole household.

So what do you do? Well here are a few tips that I have learnt along the way. My daughters are now adults living their lives but when they were teenagers I felt alone, angry, upset and like the worst parent in the world. I wish I had known then what I know now. And that is why I am here to help.

What does a teenager need? First of all they need to know that you love them whatever their behaviour. I am not saying that you reward them for being rude to you, but don’t hold onto a grudge. The thing few people understand is that the teenage brain is going through a lot of development during puberty. They themselves don’t understand why they are moody and rude and then an hour later they want a hug as though they are 7 years old again. It makes no sense to anyone.

The pressures that kids are facing nowadays are very different to the 1980’s and 90’s. This is a fact. Yes we have been teenagers and we have gone through the mood swings and the hormonal trials and exams but we were lucky, we didn’t have social media. When I was at school, I got eggs and flour thrown over me on my birthday (nice I know). I went home filthy, upset and just wanted to hide. That’s what I did. The next day there were a few mentions of it but on the whole it was quickly forgotten. Nowadays that would have been recorded on a mobile phone and shared with everyone. I would have been bombarded with comments. I would have been laughed at by people who I didn’t even know. I am probably the only person who remembers me being covered in eggs and flour. But today, in the age of social media, videos do not go away, they are there forever, they are shared far and wide and your teenager cannot escape.

My point here is that although we have been teenagers, we understand the school pressures, the hormones, the moods, the unhealthy relationships etc. What we don’t understand is the constant noise from social media and that online abuse is a huge problem. There is becoming a large amount of young people who are struggling with anxiety, panic attacks and self-harming behaviours which have been impacted by the online world. They feel alone and unable to reach out and ask for help.

If you need help connecting with your son or daughter, for whatever the reason, I am here to help. I can offer you a phone, video or in person appointment where you can tell me about the struggles and I can help you to look at things from another perspective and try to understand your teenager before things get too rough at home.

Contact me through the contact page https://vwjcounselling.com/contact/ or by calling me on 07565 820713