Change is inevitable, but sudden change? That’s a whole different beast. One day everything is normal, the next day — a job is lost, a relationship ends, an unexpected event flips your world upside down. It’s disorienting, uncomfortable, and sometimes downright scary.
But here’s the truth: while we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. I recently had an inconvenient change which threw me a little bit but I managed.
When you make plans that you are looking forward to and then they are turned upside down, you can feel really nervous. This happened to me. I was due to go on a trip with my partner but he was suddenly ill. What should I do? Cancel and miss out on something amazing or put my big girl pants on and go alone? I took the option of going alone but it wasn’t easy to start with but then I ended up having a wonderful time.
Here’s the story: On a holiday to celebrate my 50th birthday, my partner and I decided to have a day out on my birthday to visit an aquarium. We were both looking forward to it, the pictures on the website looked fantastic. However at 2am on the morning we were due to take the trip, he was really unwell. I needed to make a decision before 7:30am as to whether I was still going to go or sit around feeling sad and listening to him being sick. This felt like a hard decision, leaving him felt wrong but sitting with someone ill is not my idea of a great birthday. Plus the trip was something I had been thinking about and I was excited. I decided to go, I was nervous and I admit that the first 10 minutes on the coach I thought I had made the wrong decision. I was in a foreign country on a bus, on my own with the whole day ahead of me.
I visited the aquarium which was beautiful, we were then going up into the mountains for lunch and then onto an old village of historical interest. I noticed a lady on her own who had been on our bus to the aquarium, I went over to talk to her, I had nothing to lose. We spent the day chatting as though we were old friends, it was lovely. When we got to her stop on the coach back, I thanked her for her company and wished her well on the rest of her holiday. I felt good. I had experienced something completely different to what I had expected and although I was regretting my decision at the start of the day, I was proud of myself and I embraced that change.
This has taught me that when things take a sudden turn, it doesn’t haven to be the end of the world. I honestly thought my birthday was going to be ruined but it wasn’t, it was wonderful.
Some changes in life don’t have the same positive outcome but we can still chose how we respond. Here are some tips for keeping yourself grounded when you are faced with sudden change.
1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
Change often comes with a wave of emotions — shock, anger, sadness, fear. Instead of suppressing these feelings, name them. I was nervous, I felt unsure of what was going to happen. As soon as I acknowledged that and I took a deep breath I was fine.
💡 Tip: Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” and “What do I need?”
2. Breathe and Ground Yourself
When everything feels uncertain, bring your focus to the present moment. Deep breathing, mindfulness, or even a short walk in nature can help regulate your nervous system. Grounding techniques remind you that you’re still here, still capable, and still in control of your next step.
💡 Tip: Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique: Identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.
3. Accept What You Can’t Control
Fighting reality only drains your energy. Acceptance isn’t giving up — it’s choosing not to waste effort resisting what has already happened. Once you accept the change, you create space to respond rather than react.
💡 Tip: Control what you can, let go of what you can’t.
4. Create a Short-Term Plan
You don’t need to figure out your entire life right now. Focus on the next few steps. What can you do today, this week, or this month to adapt? A small plan helps restore a sense of agency and direction.
💡 Tip: Break it down, “What’s one thing I can do right now to move forward?”
Sudden change can feel like a storm, but storms don’t last forever. Give yourself time to adjust, space to feel, and permission to hope. The ground may have shifted — but so can you. And on the other side, you may find not just stability, but strength you didn’t know you had.
Victoria Warwick-Jones Counselling 