I am fine thanks…

Ever feel like you are walking along a bridge that may give way?

I walked along one the other day and it was scary, there were a few gaps, places that looked unsafe and it was wobbling. I started to think about how it relates to life and the precarious situations we can find ourselves in.

Life is strange, we have so much that we have control over but so much more that we have to let happen. It’s how we deal with those things that make us the person that we are. Nobody can control the weather but how we react is the focus of our day.

What do you do when you come across that rickety bridge, do you carefully walk along, working out where is safe to tread and where to avoid? Do you decide not to cross the bridge and therefore not make it over to the other side? This is the part we have control over, you can choose.

How many times have you been asked how you are and you reply with “I’m fine thanks” but you are far from fine? Probably more times than you realise, I do it all the time. I’ve been asking myself why I do this and there are a few possible reasons: I am fine, I am sort of ok but nobody wants to hear my problems, I don’t want to admit to not being ok, if I talk I will cry, nobody cares. But by saying that I am fine if I am not, I am not only being dishonest with someone who may care, I am being dishonest with myself. And then I start to think, why do people ask how I am? Do they really want to know the answer? If I ask someone how they are, am I prepared for what I may hear?

When you see someone you know and you ask how they are, are you prepared for what they may say? Too many people hide what they are feeling from fear of people not caring. We need to start caring more about the people around us.

During this lockdown I have noticed that there have been two types of people around, the caring and the selfish. Have you noticed? A stranger smiles in the queue for the supermarket and you get chatting, you keep your distance to keep in with the social distancing rules, you step back from a doorway to let someone out before you enter. Or you hear about people spitting at strangers and claiming they have Covid-19, people leave rubbish on beaches and in parks for others to tidy up, people complaining about not being able to go straight into the supermarket. We have all heard about these instances.

What is it about humans that we have this amazing ability to care for others, to show empathy and love but we can also be so self centred. If we ask someone if they are ok, do we want to help if they say “No”? Think about this next time you ask someone how they are. And, if you are asked that question, are you going to be honest or stick to saying “I am fine thanks!”.

See you soon.

Victoria x