How often do we read about changing ourselves and setting big goals to move us towards a perfect life? Sayings like “you wouldn’t set out on a journey without planning the route” come to mind. It’s true, we do need to know where we are going and what we want to achieve but sometimes fate gets in the way. Walking along the pavement, we have planned a nice trip out, fresh air and sunshine but we step in chewing gum, have we failed? We can still walk, we have a sticky mess on our shoes that needs cleaning off but is our walk ruined?
Covid-19 has affected everyone, changed the lives of everyone and for some their journey in life has sadly finished. Many people will not have reached the goal they set themselves for 2020 but it doesn’t mean they have failed, fate got in the way. How we choose to move forward says more about us as people than what we have or haven’t achieved.
As many of you know I have been studying for 4 years and I am on the home straight, the end is in sight. Although I plan to do further study, I will be able to help people who are coping with difficult situations, helping them to move forward. I have been very lucky in the fact that I have been able to take my study lectures on zoom and have been able to see my clients online during this really trying year. I remember the day that the agency told me the centre where I saw clients was closing and that they needed to come up with a plan for continuity for our clients. I was worried, worried about Covid-19, worried about the disruption to the clients but also worried about whether I would get the client hours needed to gain my Diploma.
For all of us studying and supporting vulnerable people, we felt that a thread had been cut and we would be on hold for the rest of the year. But this didn’t happen. Although fate got in the way we were able to change our plans and carry on. This has meant that people who needed to talk, to grieve, to be challenged, have been able to access their counsellor through technology.
Nobody wants this pandemic to carry on, we are waiting for the vaccine rollout but we haven’t failed. The path has changed but we can carry on. If I had given in to my worries and fear of failing I wouldn’t have been able to support people through marriage break ups, health issues and depression, that would have been a failure.
Sometimes we need to accept the things we have no control over, even if we feel it’s unfair. Acceptance of the things we cannot change is the start of the path to not worrying about every little thing. Fate does get in the way, but sometimes, fate puts good things in our path and actually change the future for the better.
Victoria Warwick-Jones Counselling 